Kampuchea Crossings

This site’s under sketch, a third makeover since ’03. We have a baby now :-) and life is suddenly all wonder and tedium at the same time. So on the rare free moments I’ll post some scatterbrained bursts of consciousness about working in foreign aid or family life in our home away from home, which is Cambodia right now. These are my personal updates to friends and family, but since you’re here have a look around. Thanks for stopping by… more about me

As a mom, it tears at my heart. It was shocking at the same time that I know it meant a better life for the baby.

It’s commonplace, but I don’t often personally see or hear of it. A woman gave birth to a healthy baby girl around 7am, at a health center where we were field-testing some questionnaires. Usually anyone admitted to a facility is accompanied by throngs of family members, who provide the care to the patient that back home would be done by health staff (eg providing meals, making sure medicines are taken, changing the dressings etc). But there was no one with this very young mother. She was thin, ragged, and very weak. She breastfed the baby a bit, on prompting by the staff, but by evening someone noticed that she hadn’t eaten all day. She couldn’t afford it – not even a bowl of porridge (around 2000 Riel or US$0.50) from the lady carrying pots and bowls in baskets balanced on a bamboo pole.

The new mother asked the staff to look for someone to take the baby because she couldn’t afford to feed her. As it turns out, my colleague has an older sister who is unable to bear children, so she agreed to take the baby for her sister. She offered some money to the staff and the staff gave a portion of it to the mother.

My colleague’s sister has had the baby now for a week. She loves the baby like her own, and she registered the birth so according to official records she is the biological mother. I wondered about the poor woman, but my colleague has no plans to find her or keep in touch. I suppose that’s only natural.

As a side note, civil registration was introduced in Cambodia only as recently as 2002, and by 2005 only 5% of the population was registered. There’s no requirement on health facilities to do more than report the number of births (to the Ministry of Health). The family takes responsibility for registering the birth (to the Sangkat or Commune, who facilitates the registration with the Ministry of Interior and birth certificate to the baby). This proof of existence is a person’s ticket to citizenship and provides the evidence needed for claims to social services and benefits. A country’s database of vital events like births, deaths, marriages helps the government determine the best use of resources eg public health programming.

Just 40 km outside Phnom Penh is a rescue center for injured or trafficked animals. There are over 80 species including macaques, lions, tigers, bears, gibbons and crocodiles – most are endangered, rescued from the wildlife trade. The sanctuary sprawls across 2500 hectares of protected forest.

It wasn’t as terrible as I expected (small concrete cages with animals pacing in the heat, going mad) and the handlers are quite knowledgeable. Tristan got to see many animals he has only ever seen in pictures. To boot, there are a lot of trees with shaded areas. They’re working on putting the crocodiles on a feeding schedule so that they can put shows on during the weekends like the elephants do.

We’ll be going back for another visit! The images above are from Keith Kelly’s photostream of Phnom Tamao Wildlife Sanctuary. And Wildlife Alliance has great coverage of the animals and events at the zoo. Chhouk the elephant with a prosthetic leg was even featured on the TODAY show in the US back in November 2011.

About 20 minutes outside Phnom Penh (in Kien Svay district, Kandal) is a stretch of fully stocked ponds, with huts situated along the banks for “picnicking” while you fish. Roaming the grounds freely are peacocks, sambars, and other animals used to humans feeding them so they’re friendly. It’s a great spot for families who want to get away from the city for a lazy day in the shade with rods in hand (although weekends are when the rowdy and loud SUV crowds descend en masse upon them – go on a weekday!). The image above is from Keith Kelly’s photostream of Soun Soben.

At 15 weeks Tristan’s giving us a premature taste of the infamous Terrible Two stage. His personality seems to be developing along what the books call “spirited” or “strong-willed”, even “high-need” (although this last term is politically incorrect anymore). Sopheap, his Khmer nanny, is bewildered and amused at the range, intensity and volatility of emotion he exhibits. He can be blissfully happy one second and thrashing angrily on the floor the next. It sets him off when we don’t understand what he wants. With redirecting a bit more difficult now we’ve had to be creative.

Thankfully Tristan’s developed some decent communication skills early on. The fact that signing and verbalizing are still novel to him at this stage, and that it gets a lot of positive attention, means we can exploit this! So we’re trying to help him realize that there are better ways to get his point across than through a tantrum.

He can sign. We signed to him since he was just a few weeks old, so he knows the basic ones like mum-mum (mom’s milk), finished, change the diaper, hurt and sleep. He demonstrates that he understands the signs but he doesn’t use all of them.

His verbal skills are excellent. His first words at just a little over a year old were mum-mum, chkai (dog), fish and turtle. Today his ramblings are sprinkled with big words or phrases like elephant (“puh-pet”), octopus (“AHH-puhpuh”), chipmunk (“muh-munk”), kangaroo (“rah-rah-rooo”), other side (“uhh-thuh-thai”).

And as with any multilingual and/or expatriate families, Tristan is exposed to several languages. Sopheap doesn’t speak English and most people he meets prattle at him in Khmer. I try to talk to him in Tagalog and one of our neighbors who he frequently interacts with speaks to him in Bengali.

Interestingly, he uses whichever language is easier for the word he wants to use. For example, he’ll say svai rather than mango, awluk rather than watermelon. We aren’t necessarily teaching him all four languages – but we want to give him that kind of exposure. I and most of my friends grew up in a 3+ language family and there’s increasing evidence it augments cognitive development. That he can choose between them to find the easiest way to say what he wants to say is a bonus!

And at this stage he gestures a lot. He asks to be picked up and we just follow his pointing signals.

The main point is that communication has been a huge tool in helping us deal with the Terrible Twos. It’s fascinating to watch Tristan communicating his wishes (what goes on in their little heads?!). He can now usually get his point across early so we can either accommodate him or anticipate and redirect temper flares. It’s a tiring and frustrating but very rewarding phase, “growing” this littler person!

It’s that time of year again… all productivity is grounding to a lazy halt across the Kingdom. The Mekong is reversing current, the air is scalding, the rainstorms are waiting on the periphery, and we’re celebrating the third New Year of the Gregorian calendar …

សូស្តីឆ្នាំថ្មី! ពីភ្នំពេញ
Chunpo Chnam Thmei!
Happy New Year from Phnom Penh!